Tuesday, July 11, 2017

MISS WIGGLES AND A CRUSTACEAN

Sometimes you do things to irritate all the cigar smokers. Especially when they are discussing politics. Most of them are prosperous middle-aged individuals, well-insulated from harsh realities, and slavishly addicted to Fox News, Alex Jones, and Donald Trump's berserk views of reality.
Twitter is their chosen news source.


So you play stuff on youtube. Your own choice of something which is better listening. At the very least it makes their conversations surreal.


LIME IN THE COCONUT

[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4QSYx4wVQg.]


ROCK LOBSTER

[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NxSQYVFsBs.
Or see this version instead: Iraq Lobster.]


THE BAD TOUCH

[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k.]


Excerpt from a great and as yet unwritten novel:

"Miss Wiggles, could you step into my office, please? Thank you, please have a seat. Miss Wiggles, it has come to my attention -- by which I mean management's attention -- that you have been waging a jihad against the programmers, by playing music over the company intercom after hours. When they are all still there involved in computer games which they think we don't know about. They would have preferred sensitive Emo or Soft Pop, apparently, but you somehow locked the sound system down and played, among other things, and I shall now read from the list they gave me: the Internationale (in German), the March of the Preobazhinsky Regiment, La Marcia Dei Lagunari, several songs by the Sex Pistols, the theme song to Shaft, and Le Chant Du Depart. Plus Caramelldansen. Repeatedly, on permanent loop. No, miss Wiggles, it is NOT better than that insufferable happy Cuban crap that the manager plays on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Same damned six songs over and over. Guantanamera eight times a day. It IS different, but NOT any better. Other than Shaft and the Sex Pistols, it is all in foreign languages which they don't recognize.

They believe that you are a communist.
They are scared for their lives.
Please don't do it again.
"

"Miss Wiggles, what are you doing with that giant lobster?"

"Miss Wiggles, stop hitting my head."

"Miss Wiggles!"


Miss Wiggles firmly believes that that happy Cuban crap has got to stop. Seriously, the same six songs over and over again. It's enough to make you puke. Miss Wiggles is thinking in terms of narcocorridos, the songs in Japanese from the anime 'Azumanga Daioh', and Irish war music.
Plus she thinks the "programmers" are Fascists.

This blogger, naturally, sympathises completely with Miss Wiggles, and believes that she shows remarkable mental acuity and vigour.

We've really got to meet sometime.

We think alike.



She'd probably also have quite unprintable things to say about the cigar smokers in the lounge. So I shan't expose her to them until she's ready.




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